Limitless Torture

By, LakiraMitchum

I break, I broke the bread  and break all over again when I stand , I stand in the sewage of  my devastation,while looking at my past through an hour glass, I had regrets and, dashes on my legs, broken lenses and bottles on the floor of my mind. who is Lakira oh God damn, who is she? why can’t church just come in a medicine bottle, why can’t we find God in the pill bottles. I thought I found God under a tree, in the shade where the man can’t hold me down; now I’m walking on slippery floor, looking at blank faces and manics that say my name wrong. who is Lakira? I asked, that voice in my head at the age of three or four I’m not sure.Demons can come us at young age telling us fables and thoughts, really those stories became history and we are just playing chess with the devil and God is the referee. “Check mate babe”, “you, alright love, you seem a bit ill”? I’m just saying it’s a game because, I was a issue the day I was born its way too too easy to find sin, battered bones, Corney movies about bloody whores and death. life is hard, the ground is harder and lately I attempt not falling, fading.. “Angels say Oooo, ouch that had to hurt”  even Jesus cried in the dark, ,even Moses lost his way in wilderness oh, the humanity , oh the sickening feeling of being held and bullied by the thoughts of our own self. what does mean to be human, what does it mean to bleed on the ground and no one asks is she OK. who am I, I ask myself almost every week of so. Satan must be a huge massive ghost, and fear must the poison he served to me on my birthday. my birthday was the issue, my name is my burden.Our greatest hero once abandon his only son, and yes , oh God yes, life is hard. life tastes like a bitter apple,or rotten soup.who are we to say life is simple, sinners. now it seems after 24 years my life is beginning but, really is only ending as we.I can not tell is I understand who I am, just from my mothers lessons and my fathers demands, my meaning, has