Presenting my reasoning for dumbing my ex boyfriend. .and dealing with self discovery
While gazing upon a magazine cover I find myself dazed in stupidity over something I can’t conceived for myself that is my desire for a man’s affection, the stupid idea of crazy love, I for one have taken a deeper observation into idolizing the unforgettable mark’s and Mathew’s of the cult we women call Hollywood. First there is real life and oh “Fuck, me” love is abusive and hard to find. Looking at handsome men is like looking for the perfect bowl of spaghetti, just so can find out that you’re not beautiful enough to even speak to them, it makes you feel crazy when you realize you only value the opinions of Gaston and prince charming. Let’s talk about masculine beauty, men ,men fucking men, the great valleys of soothing screaming and head banging down the road of my memories, worshipping men will ruin me it’ll be the death of me. I settle upon the idea of the beauty of a man that is kind but, finally I have freedom I finally conjured why women learn to hate men in puberty because, even the nicest of kings, can become a fucking nightmare in the end which is why its for a girl like me to fear men and never approach them and really, confidence comes the most when we are alone.Men learn to love only a certain kind of person, they were created to be hard, and not vulnerable as the tender girl. Its seems normal for girls to hate boys but, respect them only because of how different they are from us, they have a lot to offer to us, like all the criticism you could ever need ever, or making a family. lets be honest boys are intimidating all boys are, what they say and do, does matter from my memories, of my childhood I was little ugly bitch with terrible friends and no hair. I’ll be honest I’m ugly and I know it, or I feel ugly or I’ll look at my boyfriend and think why in God’s name are you with me? I actually accept being ugly or pretty , I don’t like judging myself actually like uhhhh the actress that played “ugly Betty” to me she looked pretty normal, yet nerdy. I’m okay with this thought in my mind, I don’t cry about it at all I just accept that I’m an ugly woman that once liked the kind of men that would never give me the time of day, feeling ugly is not why I pursue writing more than men, its more about not caring about the way I look just sometimes I don’t like the idea of attracting a lot of people it’s a form of humility that I seek for myself, its like my own reasoning for modesty I don’t want to get hurt. I was once a great girlfriend in my mind that literally worshipped my boyfriend and wanted his parents to always like me, Do you know how agonizing that is, attempting to become a wife, A God fucking Wife and mother! it’s hard. I almost never want to date again I almost never want to fall in love again and when you become a wife you become a woman that obligated constantly churn the options of a man that could easily destroy you and really I hate the idea of marriage, attraction, love and sex so I bailed on him and dumbed him, I was not ready, he was 9 years older than me its take a lot of guts brainwashing and time to get woman to marry a man, and go through extreme pain to push a baby out for them and be ready in time for a new one. I can say I am terrified of love, I am afraid of men and because of rape and I don’t need sex at all it hurts too much.
I can live without that for the rest of my life, I know I’m young but I think I want to commit to being single for the rest of my life. I have met so many wonderful single women that seem insensitive but really they have been hurt, and I think its okay to say I’m afraid of marriage, I’m afraid to let someone control me, to let that man in my life.
My emotions are like an ocean shore pushing an pulling away at my own mind numbing me and turning me into a beach worth loving once more. I learning to love myself, an sense I was five it was hard to see how smart I came to be. without a lover I’m learning that I could be special to me, because of who I am.
I have a sad perspective of love and understanding, and I express I wasn’t always like this and I have the feeling of so much worthlessness I have myself writing articles about men I’ll never marry, or keep or touch, or lick , and well I admit “I’m a creep”. I have to admit liking men is not easy, its when I forget about them and find that little mouse I call myself scurrying in my mind squeaky to it’s predator “don’t fuck with me homes!” I see I’m a slave girl making my own puppet show entertaining the masses that’ll never like me if I payed them to . I really do feel like an unlucky Cinderella so let’s go back shall we,
“All in all really I can say I love Tom Hiddleson simply because he is an human that loves humans. .”
“I believe the conversations we would have if I met him would consist of medical exams, humanitarian concerns and world issues. He has millions of fans and many awards but, in reality what he does for others is what matters the most to me, he brings hope to humanity, he just maybe homesick for heaven who knows.I believe the conversations we would have if I met him would consist of medical exams, humanitarian concerns and world issues. He has millions of fans and many awards but, in reality what he does for others is what matters the most to me, he brings hope to humanity, he just maybe homesick for heaven who knows.”- Lakira Mitchum
That was one of the most stupidest articles I have ever written…let’s be honest I have an unwanted crush, but really I’m a brilliant woman that should mind her own damn business. Back then I wrote in hopes that these people would read my pathetic attempt to be a dumbass fan girl crying behind someone’s red rope, Fuck No! get a grip Lakira! love your fucking self and love humanity with your own reasons no because baby faced men kiss African babies on T.V. This is my reasoning, as a lady I should never try to impress anyone with desire for a man to like me. That Article was a naïve of me to write and I had less of an kick in my head and that was the very reason why “David Wright” treats me like a dumbass, Bitch get over all these celebrities be strong, don’t quiver over men that shit ain’t good for my female ego. “Fuck love” at that time I don’t know if I was as serious about writing but, I remember Louis Lane turning down superman because when you are passionate about something you find something in yourself you have never seen, your own reason to believe in God or Goddesses or, why to loose weight or wear make up every day. Shhhhhittttt it’s better to be professional than to be in love or lust, if we are not careful men can easily become our passion instead of us having a passion in what is more important our self respect. “RESPECT” yo! I don’t want to love men I want to just respect them. I have seen the ugliest of man take a girl’s affection and turn it into some sort of twisted buffet of shaming and torture, which is why ladies should never let a man determine who they are, how they feel and what they do.
Men can turn the prettiest of women into clowns like,that woman is not human; she’s a fucking dog in a cage. women that want to be loved and understood like porn stars, strippers, teenage girls, moms, grandma, fucking toddlers in tiaras She is a slut. she is a bitch she is …. she fucking is, Mother Mary, Ruth and Esther, the sexy Sarah Palin and the God made Hilary Clinton, the abused Mary J. Blige the Dancing Beyoncé and the Megan fox and Paris Hilton one thing they have in common they are dumb bitches to society and praise to the mighty ego of the modern man. Really they are all beautiful women that deserve to love themselves first, stop crying over him, and they, and be strong! Love yourself, Love your vagina, love your own vagina, shit masturbate and, talk about it you don’t have to be a lesbian, respect your gender and be okay with waiting, for love to find you be okay with your body.
In every perspective of our culture women are degraded no matter who they are, we are all Ann franks…forcing ourselves to be in the spotlight, in a society that only shames us. I hate entertaining men, I hate sucking up to the idea that they can us so easily hurt and shit I’ll admit I don’t want to love men anymore. I an a feminist and I am proud of it, That doesn’t make me a lesbian its makes me a rebel in a stereotyped world I hate. I hate sexism as much as I hate living only for man’s affection when I see female engineers, female football players , soccer players, boxers, even strippers can be seen as athletes. I was not born to entertain men ,I was created to mate with men, until that time comes I’m single and… now that I’ve written this I’m happy to say, I am a woman that will only respect men, and never love someone that does not deserve it.