Limitless Torture

By, LakiraMitchum

I break, I broke the bread  and break all over again when I stand , I stand in the sewage of  my devastation,while looking at my past through an hour glass, I had regrets and, dashes on my legs, broken lenses and bottles on the floor of my mind. who is Lakira oh God damn, who is she? why can’t church just come in a medicine bottle, why can’t we find God in the pill bottles. I thought I found God under a tree, in the shade where the man can’t hold me down; now I’m walking on slippery floor, looking at blank faces and manics that say my name wrong. who is Lakira? I asked, that voice in my head at the age of three or four I’m not sure.Demons can come us at young age telling us fables and thoughts, really those stories became history and we are just playing chess with the devil and God is the referee. “Check mate babe”, “you, alright love, you seem a bit ill”? I’m just saying it’s a game because, I was a issue the day I was born its way too too easy to find sin, battered bones, Corney movies about bloody whores and death. life is hard, the ground is harder and lately I attempt not falling, fading.. “Angels say Oooo, ouch that had to hurt”  even Jesus cried in the dark, ,even Moses lost his way in wilderness oh, the humanity , oh the sickening feeling of being held and bullied by the thoughts of our own self. what does mean to be human, what does it mean to bleed on the ground and no one asks is she OK. who am I, I ask myself almost every week of so. Satan must be a huge massive ghost, and fear must the poison he served to me on my birthday. my birthday was the issue, my name is my burden.Our greatest hero once abandon his only son, and yes , oh God yes, life is hard. life tastes like a bitter apple,or rotten soup.who are we to say life is simple, sinners. now it seems after 24 years my life is beginning but, really is only ending as we.I can not tell is I understand who I am, just from my mothers lessons and my fathers demands, my meaning, has

 

The Secret Of The Hills

LACUNA Series part 1

The secret of the hills, the babbling of fears creaking forward in my head

By Lakira Mitchum

The secret of the hills, the thrills only a holy man would seek,the oh, the Capricorns the, the award in being a great loving man of the light, How do I try not to cry in the dark streets in my mind.In my world I’m only the hopeless and the homeless, the broken seeking only a small peek of the secrets of the hills, the secret of happiness and true love the brews in like a storm. The hills of hope, the hills of heaven, and all I hear are the creaking screeching words of an angel wishing me a good bye with red sky’s and people wishing to die. Save me, oh the God we knew, he never told me the secret of the hills, The right way. Save me from the streets of my mind and swing me into the mountains and hills of abnormalities, the hills the homes of angels and devils that only sin to entertain the pure thoughts of a witty power.The hills the homes, where no one faints and, the seas are never too deep swim and swallow.Sweet Marvel bring me hope, let me  know the where it is, so that I may see through the fog of danger, and know I’m free from fear and judgement,God is my, dream, how dare I seek a religion to my dreams. My sanity was claimed and I was lost, from the hills the, love of popular man , oh the bible holding kings that made me into an insane angel, banging on my drums of my heart, beating away, the painful way.  Secret hills are hard to find, heaven is hard to imagine, God is hard to comprehend and, sanity is hard to keep when heaven is all you wanted.

 

 

 

Be My Heaven Series part 1

2018

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This series is about my love for Tom Hiddleson

in hope that he will notice.

Deepest eyes that can swallow a girl’s soul he can become my sanctuary , oh look at what he’s done to me, Jesus gave him those eyes, he makes fear seem less dangerous with hard hands to hold and a promise to take care of the homeless and meek. Please tell me I’m not dreaming again… Thomas tell me again and become my heaven, my calming sea my deepest sweetest dream Be my all. Only a crush only a strange desire let me in so that I may bite the fruit upon his lips.Be my heaven please take my fear of falling away, so that I will fly only into your arms and agree with cherubs that your are purely mine before God and priest below. With a voice that ruins all ideas of selfish guilt he is so sweet.

So please take me; to where you are where ever you are is my heaven my future home.

-To my dearest lover…

 

by,Lakira Mitchum

 

blood and insomnia

So we settle for less…

By,Lakira Mitchum

Dripping blood from my heart I held in my hand, I waited for a answer  from him,instead he killed me, he slaughtered me in sacred sin. it was hard to explain it was hard to see my scars, I was burned at a steak at his chapel I  was hanged to dry by his men, bishops and popes prayed amen and I stand alone, without understanding for myself.What did I do, where did all of my faith go, where did your silent screams go, the tingles, the ties, the desires and dreams, her poems  only lie in ashes in hell.Someone stole my story, my heart , my ideas ,my art,.Saints say they are perfect, saints say are better, saints say their blessed after they murder, who I was was only a mistake.He swallowed me whole and said, “come unto me” but, I lost my soul and my body is only a vessel for a zealous a sacred holy, saints to hurt, And I only see blood and ashes in his hands, the beauty became my chaos so I may lay in the sun rebuked and broken by the man in white, his ancient book is only a list of death threats and a guest list for fools that worship a mans distress on a broken tree, did they really know him or was my worship in vain. That makes me ask what does it mean to be human, what does it mean to be human, to having little depth with, I have no feelings, no tears I’m numb with painted lies across my forehead.stupid with the stressful desire to sin with a warm belly, and lustful heart tight with slight self hatred, I pray against the Lakira syndrome looking for artistic love, that soft petty mini skirt kind of like love, She looks for, Lakira you’re a disease so the say ;so the little bible speaks of the doll faced fool looking for friends in the chapel, the church was insensitive to her existence pathetic fool building her own temple and wrapping yourself in clothing as if she needs them.You don’t belong in the sainthood. You have no friends, you only have your demons and even they hate you. How does she deal with being suddenly a pagan view, she loved that man, that thing they said was only a lamb he was more than that  he was rush my passion , the one I dreamed of but now its questionable the skies seem to be bleak he never knew how she felt, he should never speak of it she would rather die. Thousands of years could not explain her strange religion, he will never know the way she would have protested, the saints don’t deserve the man’s death, I know I would shake in tears, your sins are;your faults she argues with herself, they will never know she wants peace, and shes afraid.He would never know he.

she is only less..than what he could be with.

A look at my past…

So looking at me was always less than what you could of had seen, but they think I’m less better, less than Good, less than awesome, instead of October I felt like September, instead Of the butterfly I felt like the fly. I was always less, less than better just almost good.

“Quotes of the day “

“A girl got kicked out of the swimming hole today. Inge Hachmann. They said they wouldn’t let us swim with a half-breed. Unsanitary. A half-breed, Werner. Aren’t we half-breeds too? Aren’t we half our mother, half our father?”
Anthony Doerr, All the Light We Cannot See

 

“Where they burn books, at the end they also burn people”
Heinrich Heine

 

“Then I looked out onto the horizon myself and realized that loss is the same wherever you go: overwhelming, inexorable, deafening. How resilient human beings are that we can learn slowly to carry on when we are left all alone, left to fill the void as best we can. Or disappear into it.”
Jennifer Ryan, The Chilbury Ladies’ Choir   

“‎I was cursed with the pessimism of both the Russians and the Jews two of the gloomiest tribes in the world. Still if there wasn’t greatness in me maybe I had the talent to recognize it in others even in the most irritating others.”
David Benioff, City of Thieves   

what does it mean to be human

“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.”
Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

What does it mean to be human?

By, Lakira Mitchum

With a tiny ounce of hope I asked, myself if I fail so many times does that make me a person, if a  woman  bleeds after rape is said and done, does that blood remind her offender she is human? Why  do   humans hate humans and why do we seem to hate being human, Why do they say we are born into sin, while babes are innocent in the eyes of others? My first step was not disgrace in my mother’s eyes back then, but why is it that my first steps in college are so shameful to see, so anxious so tedious. Why is humanity so stuck in the constant reminder of being a cursed humans? “Oh the humanity?!”In my mind, I have this occasional gospel this, sensational fundamental way of thinking that, I will feel human when I begin to feel free to smile, free to speak, free to love, free to move and free to understand myself and others. I am human because I know my blood is inestimable valuable, precious when it flows through my veins. When my DNA is seen as dangerous to others, and sensual to my peers that’s when I know I’m human. My humanity, means I was chosen by Gods, worshiped enough to be created as such. Grateful enough to know I was created by them. My humanity is my, hope for time well spent under the stars and inside the cosmos breathing and speaking with others. I feel pain, I sense worry, I am afraid of something, but there is so much passion in being human, sex has a new meaning, it has some form climax that make us feel so warm, and fuzzy inside; so secular you can taste of the wonderful vibrant and, vivacious pleasure between your toes. I am happy to say”the central nervous system is a God given gift”  we call sex physical love.

Being human is Good, and being An animal is instinctively well, animals have the freedom to live without worry of tomorrow’s social status. but without hesitation I can say it’s good to be a sinful human that lives with passion.

My humanity is beautiful yet chaotic.

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When She looks at the universe

Hello, Yule tide

Hello Decemeber…

By, Lakira Mitchum

The Sagittarius’s scars

Peindre l’univers

Painting with star dust ,kissing, and making love on what we the live in ;She lays on the axis of the solar system system as the Gods spin her around and, around. When I look at the universe I see the kings and queens dancing above my head,the gold trims of coats and arms on my night stand glow in my eyes every night.We sing, we dance ,We laugh on top of the dark canvas of the universe. painting the universe; with a sensual feeling, and the arguments of the Gods are just the struggles of mankind.I see colors and unity of the twinkling of the stars and nebula’s . Mother earth just sits in awe in  of this diversification they have to bring. We sit in the center of the solar system while mother earth keeps us safe, and father sun, watches us laugh and play, cry and bleed.We sit and watch the Gods paint the universe, hues of red blue, orange and yellow so rainbows are formed; as I watch the universe.

The dreams of Athena

Hello Yule, And hello December

Dreams of Yule tide

By ,Lakira Mitchum

The feeling of his warm hands on my shoulders,his eyes have the most pulchritudinous glisten to me, and being alone is my worst theory of my world’s end. Love is what this chimera , this fantasy, I have in my mind. Love does not always seem wise not all entity’s deserve  what we once called love. Love can sometimes take a foolish heart to achieve.Only a God so great can bear a burden so high and that is to love me, while I love myself, before I knew my own birthday was so.

Man stands alone part 3

They were now both ready, not to begin from scratch, but to continue with a love that had survived for thirteen years in hibernation. They were no longer travellers without baggage. They were no longer twenty. They’d both been around the block a bit and had suffered without the other. They’d both lost their way without the other.
Each had tried to find love with other people.
But all that was now finished.”
Guillaume Musso, Que serais-je sans toi?

By,Lakira Mitchum

The grassy plain has become their bedroom and she was the only woman who’s laughter matched perfectly with his universe. When she  said, his name she was his only antidote,he thought he needed her, she was the center of his universe and he would rather be lost; than be without her.Things change; fall turns into winter, and she was still the same woman but ,this time they felt disaster at their door.Sometimes pain comes when we least expect it, and sometimes we waste time starring at the past times before we realize our contentment with the  present can bring disaster to our future.Love is strange sometimes,but peace is simple and maybe it takes blood to better appreciate water, and maybe it takes a scar to help us realize we suffered.She wore a white dress to their wedding and he wore a black shirt to her funeral, life came so fast.Life for him will never be the same but until he sat in a  pub and finally cried, for first time in a while, he finally will think of himself at night under the stars listening to the ghost of their past.”I love you Susan,and I always will”. but for now he has a new journey ahead of him, off to Alaska to see the new things.

Years latter he then lived alone in the mountains to only hear, the rain patting his name on the windows.He loves life more now although Susan is Gone he found a new love `that was  in the mother earth. He sat sat in the crisp  cool fall air waiting for something. Then she came walking down the dirt road, there she was a woman that looked as pure as the moon herself. “Hello Robert” She needed him as much as he needed her, her name was Charlotte, she was stunning and maybe a little pale with green eyes.

“I missed this feeling,” he wrote in  his journal, he loves her, and she lived with him until they died, in the rain together,  at the age of eighty, unmarried yet alive.

To be continued:

Man stands alone part 2

by,Lakira Mitchum

 

Mockery bleeds in the soul of the man with the deepest passion, he sighs with the feelings of deepest despair, we sing for him in the large bathtubs in tiny motel rooms.He’s the hero we only dreamed of him being happy but, really he’s a secondary chemical a dangerous lover.His heart is an industrial field, his eyes are the dusky windows of her station wagon, here he is sort, of torn, sort of broken, sort of confused, raped by villagers and hurt by women, and heroine she could never really save them both; she only put him in the fun house to get lost alone.The man stands alone,the man sings in the dark alley wishing for hope and homestead, homesickness bellows inside his weakened legs as he walks the dark street of  lost cities.That man stood alone, he walked in the dark and eats away the cheap food he could afford.He rides trains in the afternoons and plays his guitar at her grave.You see how love works and you see how lust works after a while and somehow the sky just seems a little clearer, and the doves seem a little whiter and roses may smell a little better even after his lover died.God said, love was everything, and they said, family never gets left behind, but why did it take him so long to find  this type of love so it’s been taken away by this so called heroine, the strong feminist that sold her soul to the ones that enable her to do nothing but drown in her own urine. What is love to him, love was hope, love with with him all along, when he learned to love himself, he found an intellect higher than he was and was ever before.It strange how things come together in huge gatherings of horrid lies and bizarre truths.He know sleeping beauty was only raped in her slumber, he wants to be her hero,but until then he only a man that stood alone for now.